


it's a kind of magic

by halfwayinit



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Ballum Big Bang 2020 (Eastenders), Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:20:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25409809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfwayinit/pseuds/halfwayinit
Summary: or, the harry potter au that absolutely nobody asked for.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 32
Kudos: 81
Collections: Ballum Big Bang 2020





	it's a kind of magic

**Author's Note:**

> at one stage i felt like i was never going to finish this fic and now here it is in all it's - albeit questionable - glory  
> i really really hope you enjoy it!!  
> this is the longest fic i've written by a country mile, and i'm just a lil bit proud of it
> 
> art by @ballym on tumblr   
> https://ballym.tumblr.com/post/624370775800070144/ballum-big-bang-2020-entry-its-a-kind-of-magic-by  
> an absolutely incredible piece - thank you!!
> 
> also thank you to @softestvillain on tumblr for this amazing art - i love it!!  
> https://softestvillain.tumblr.com/post/624353933644775424/inspired-by-halfwayinits-ballum-big-bang
> 
> i am dedicating my big bang to ellie, this fic would be nothing without you - in fact, it would never have been finished. thank you for your incredible ideas and all the unwavering support x

Callum was just eight years and four months old when he came to the realisation that he was different to everyone around him, even his own family. He wasn’t like his big brother Stuart, or the other kids on the playground who refused to play with him. No, Callum knew he was most definitely _different_. 

It started when Callum was just a toddler, Stuart had told him, pretty soon after their mother had upped and left in the middle of the night, never to be seen or heard from again. 

Callum was sitting in his highchair, refusing to eat the mashed vegetables his father had thrown together for dinner. Jonno had gotten irritated when Callum dodged yet another spoonful, spoon flung down in annoyance onto the table and chair scraping back against the floor as he stormed out of the kitchen, yelling at a young Stuart to “Just feed the damn baby. Now.” 

Callum had started crying, startled at the way his father had reacted. He was wailing loudly, eyes screwed shut and fists clenched tightly together. And then, as if by magic, the plastic bowl had flown across the table, hitting the wall on the other side of the room and covering the cheap paint in a mess of carrot and broccoli. 

Stuart told him about how he had just sat there staring at Callum in awe for a moment afterwards, the little giggle that had escaped Callum’s mouth at the mess soon turning into another cry as their father stormed back in, yelling at his older brother for destroying the paint on the wall, not that it made much difference to the grimy flat’s decor. 

Since that day, there was no denying that Callum was different, unusual, not like everybody else. His brother called them his ‘ticks’, the things that he could do without moving a muscle, without hardly trying at all. Callum hated it, he didn’t want to be like that, he wanted to be normal. 

His classmates teased him mercilessly from day one, branded him with nicknames like ‘freak’ and ‘weirdo’, calling out to him as he stood in the corner of the schoolyard, shoes scuffed from kicking the stones beneath his feet. He hated it even more then, wanted more than anything to fit in, or even just to blend in. To disappear into the background, someplace he could feel safe. Because he didn’t have anywhere like that. He hated being at home because of the constant fights and tension between Jonno and Stuart. He hated being at school because of the cruel words flung at him from every direction. Both places made him feel small and weak, like he was an outsider looking in all the time. 

Because he was, he didn’t belong anywhere. Not really, not in the way he wished. Callum truly believed he was destined to live a life on the edge, always looking in, never doing anything worthwhile or spectacular. A below average boy living a below average life. That was his fate. 

Until his eleventh birthday, when a letter came through the door of their little flat, and suddenly the world didn’t seem so small after all. 

_Dear Mr. Callum Highway_ it read.

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment._

_Term begins on September 1st._

_We await your owl by no later than July 31st._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Minerva McGonagall_

_Deputy Headmistress._

Callum remembers like it was just yesterday, the way Stuart had taken the letter from him and read it aloud, Jonno’s face turning redder with every word, fists clenched at his side. What followed had turned Callum’s world upside down, things finally slotting into place, becoming clearer, or as clear as they can for an eleven year old boy. 

Callum Highway was a wizard. 

His mother, whom Callum had very little memories of, was a pureblood witch who had settled down in muggle England after marrying Jonno Highway, soon giving birth to two sons, only one of whom had inherited her magical abilities. Jonno had been fine with it at first, Stuart later told him, but as the years went on, he began to resent their mother and her abilities, ordering her to give up performing magic if their marriage was to last. He took any opportunity he could to blame their problems on her magic, adamant that neither Stuart nor Callum would ever waste time at that ‘school of freaks’ she attended as a young witch. But, like any talented witch, their mother struggled to adjust to a life without magic, unable to revert to a muggle way of life like her husband ordered. 

Stuart said he couldn’t be sure, but it seemed to be the most plausible reason as to why their mother had deserted them, unable to cope with such restriction any longer, to abandon her abilities, choosing her magic over her children. 

Or Callum began to think as he got older, maybe she truly began to believe the awful words his father spat at her. Leaving her children behind in a bid to give them a normal life, to save them from growing up abnormally as she had, believing her exit from their lives was for their own good. What if she thought she was doing the right thing? Did she even know that Callum inherited her abilities? Did she ever regret leaving them? Whatever the reason, his new-found magic made Callum feel that bit closer to her, like he had a connection to her that he never had before.

Suddenly, being different wasn’t such a burden anymore. Callum had something special, something to be proud of, a whole new life waiting for him at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It made excitement run hot through his veins, the thoughts of finding happiness and friendship in this new place, of learning _magic_ , of finally belonging. No longer living life on the outside but jumping headfirst into whatever this new chapter was going to bring.

Maybe, just maybe, his life was about to change for the better. 

\---

Callum felt the excitement within him quickly dissipate into nerves, butterflies fluttering low but wild in his stomach as he settled down onto the stool. As the Sorting Hat was lowered onto his head, he squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to look out into the sea of people before him. He would be happy in any house, he knew, but it didn’t make the whole thing any less daunting. He had sat with other excited first years on the train, listened as they spoke about the four houses, noticed the change in their voices as they spoke about Slytherin house, whatever that was. But Callum didn’t pay too much attention to what they said, deciding he would choose for himself when he got there. He preferred to make his own mind up on things like that, after all he knew what it felt like to be on the receiving end of people’s judgement and ridicule.

He couldn’t tear his eyes away when he first arrived into the Great Hall as the Sorting Hat began its song, beginning to piece together the houses and the reputations they bear. 

_Gryffindor’s are brave at heart, While Hufflepuff’s stay true, Ravenclaw’s are wise and sharp, And Slytherin’s pursue._

Callum knew there could be no concrete set of attributes for every house, a certain way that every member had to behave, but going by the Sorting Hats song he was sure he would be happy in any of the four. As the seconds ticked by, his cheeks grew warmer, heart thumping a steady rhythm against his ribcage, beating just loud enough to muffle the words of the others in the crowd. Just as he thought it was all about to turn out to be a big mistake, that he was going to be told he didn’t actually belong here, didn’t fit into any of the houses and so would be put on the first train home, the Hat cut through the bustle of the Great Hall.

“Gryffindor!” 

Callum could never fully put into words the feeling that had spread throughout him, from the tips of his fingers right down to his toes, as he opened his eyes and looked out to see the entirety of Gryffindor house on their feet, clapping and cheering at the tops of their voices for their newest member. It felt like he had finally found a home, a place to belong, somewhere to be himself, unashamedly. It felt like the puzzle pieces of his life were slowly but surely slotting into place, a picture of what his life could be from this moment onwards beginning to form. 

Even now, as he was entering his seventh year at Hogwarts, that same feeling has never faded for Callum. If anything, it’s only got stronger over the years, strengthened by the friendships that had blossomed, from the guidance and praise of his mentors, the overwhelming feeling of _this is exactly where I belong_ every time he stepped foot within the castle doors. 

Not even the looming of the dreaded N.E.W.T. examinations could quell the happiness within him, fingers tapping a calming rhythm against the solid wood of the Gryffindor house table, patiently waiting for the breakfast spread to appear before him. He couldn’t help the laugh that escaped his mouth as Lola dropped down onto the bench across from him, moaning that the coffee pot was nowhere to be found. 

“Good morning to you too, I figured you and Whitney wouldn’t be down until at least lunchtime after last night.” Callum’s voice was light and teasing, knowing Lola wouldn’t feel one bit bad about hexing him if he got too loud so early in the day. He knew from experience that she most definitely was not a morning person, even less so with a hangover. They’d gotten a bit carried away the night before, the entire senior hoard of Gryffindors had, shots of firewhiskey going down like pumpkin juice as they toasted bittersweetly to their final year in Hogwarts. 

Final year. Callum doesn’t like to think about it too much, Hogwarts has been his only proper home for almost seven years now, it’s brought him more happiness than he ever thought possible, given him friendships that he knows will last for life, helped him to learn so much about who he is and who he wants to be. The thought of leaving it all behind in a few short months is nothing less than terrifying, even more so when he has no idea where he was going to end up. His father had made it clear that he wouldn’t be welcome back if he wasn’t prepared to live a muggle life once he graduated. As much as Callum longs for a better relationship with his father, his magic is not something he is willing to sacrifice for it. It’s a part of him, passed down through generations of wizards and witches who used it with pride. He can’t give it up.

Thankfully, Callum is pulled out of his melancholy by Whitney’s arrival, just in time to give a quick hello before breakfast appears on the table. The three of them make a beeline for the coffee pot, needing the caffeine buzz to get them through the last Sunday before classes start and the NEWTs, or the very accurately named Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests, take over their lives. 

They’re just the exams that decide the outcome of the rest of their lives, no big deal. It’s not like Callum’s spent the entire summer break dreading them, whilst simultaneously longing to return to his sanctuary that is the castle. 

“So” Lola starts, draining her first cup of coffee quicker than Callum thought was humanly possible, “How are we spending our last Sunday of freedom?”

Callum’s opening his mouth to respond when Whitney groans, dropping her head down onto the table, thumping lightly against the wood, “Please, please, _please_ do not mention alcohol. If I never see firewhiskey again it’ll be too soon.” Her dramatic hungover pleas make Callum and Lola laugh loudly, soon quietening down when the sound makes Whitney groan even more, head still firmly down on the wood. Callum reaches out to rub light circles on her back comfortingly, internally thanking himself for stopping with the shots far earlier than everyone else. If there’s one thing that’s worse than the impending NEWTs, it’s a firewhiskey hangover. He’s been there more times than he’d ever like to admit, and it is not fun.

“Well,” Callum clears his throat as he pulls his hand back, Whitney lifting her head and looking slightly more alive than she had moments before, “I was thinking we could just go down by the lake for a while since the weather’s still good, like we did in first year. It’ll probably be the last chance we get.” He feels his heart swell when Whitney and Lola hum in agreement and start making plans to invite some other seventh years, maybe ask the house elves if they could do them up a basket of food so they don’t have to trek back to the Great Hall for lunch. 

Callum’s nodding along as they speak, mind wandering back to his first year in Hogwarts when he somehow ended up being befriended by two of the loudest and most amiable girls to ever grace the castle halls. They’d sprung themselves on him that very first evening in the common room, more than likely sensing that he had absolutely zero clue about the magical world or what life at the school was going to entail. The three of them had sat cozied into the armchairs in front of the roaring fire for hours, telling stories about how they got their acceptance letters, what pet they had brought with them, the classes they were most excited to take. Callum didn’t have much experience when it came to making friends, but he was sure he’d just hit the jackpot with the two sitting across from him.

Now, Callum can’t imagine his life without Whitney and Lola. They’re his best friends, the people he can depend on, the ones who remind him who he is when he feels like he doesn’t know himself at all. He owes them a lot, doesn’t think he could ever fully repay them, not that they would ask it of him. It makes a small smile spread across Callum’s face, the innocent memory of their first meeting, knowing all the ones that have since followed, some that they have agreed shall never be spoken of again (yet another reason why firewhiskey is not their friend). Yeah, Callum thinks, he’s definitely won the friendship lottery.

\---

The September sun beams down lazily on them as they lounge by the lake, just warm enough that there’s no need for any extra layers aside from the woolly jumpers they’ve got on to fight off the cool autumnal breeze. It seems like Whitney and Lola have alerted the entire seventh year cohort of their plan for the day, groups of students from different houses all basking in the warm afternoon sunlight as they enjoy what they know will be the last stress-free weekend of the academic year. 

Callum’s lost in thought as conversations fade into the background around him, head laying in Whitney’s lap as he relaxes into the ground, letting his bones rest fully now that he’s back at Hogwarts, his only true home since he was eleven years old. It’s only when Whitney taps him lightly on the head that he realises someone’s calling his name, and quite insistently at that.

“Mr. Highway!” Professor Allard’s voice carries across the grounds as he motions for Callum to get up “May I have a word with you?”. Callum feels his cheeks get hot as he scrambles to get up, the students around him starting to whisper. Professor Allard had become their potions professor in their second year, taking over the post from another professor who seemed like he should have retired long before then. He’s quite an intimidating man, even more so outside of class, which is why Callum is rushing towards him, attempting to smooth down his slacks as he stops just short of where he’s standing. 

The professor smiles at him, or at least gives it his best attempt, before beginning to move away from the crowds of students, back towards the castle. They walk in silence for a few moments, Callum panicking that he’s managed to get himself into trouble before classes have even started. As they make their way through the castle doors, Professor Allard clears his throat and speaks, “Mr. Highway, I’m sure you’re well aware that you are one of my top students in the seventh year class, and I do expect great things from you in your NEWT’s.” He speaks in a very matter-of-fact tone, not one to beat around the bush with too many formalities before getting to the point. So much so that Callum hardly has a chance to mumble out a quick “Thank you, sir” before he’s speaking again, briskly walking down the concrete steps towards his office in the dungeons, jet black robes whipping behind him.

“Which is why I have a favour to ask of you. I have a student who is...struggling a bit.” he casts a glance over at Callum and grimaces slightly, as if the idea of someone struggling in his class is incomprehensible, “And he requires quite a high grade in his potions NEWT. I’m aware that you’ll be busy with your own studies in the preparation for exams, but is there a chance you could spare an hour or two a week to tutor him?” He comes to a stop at the door of his office, placing his hand on the handle before turning to face Callum. 

It’s a bit of a relief if Callum’s honest. He’s good at tutoring, has enough patience with people that they usually only need a few sessions to get them up to speed. “I’d have no problem with that, sir. I’ve already agreed to help out Peter Beale, so one more can’t hurt.” He can’t help but smile when Professor Allard claps him on the shoulder to thank him, the people pleaser that Callum is feeling satisfied.

“Mr. Highway, meet your new student.” Professor Allard announces as he opens his office door and steps through, “Mr. Mitchell, I’m sure you will find Mr. Highway to be a great help. He is one of the finest potions students this school has ever seen.” 

Callum’s a bit startled to see Ben Mitchell, Slytherin’s very own pride and joy, perched atop the desk, looking like he would rather be anywhere but there. Ben hops off the desk when Callum shoots him a smile, shoving his hands into his pockets and pursing his lips slightly as he stares Callum down. Not exactly the friendliest student he’s ever had, Callum thinks. But he doesn’t like to judge too quickly so he carries on as if Ben doesn’t look like he wants to throw a hex at him. 

“Uh, how does an hour from 8 to 9 sound? On a Tuesday and Thursday maybe?” Callum just smiles awkwardly when Ben nods, not sure what else to say. Sensing the awkward tension in the air, Professor Allard claps his hands together, pulling the boys’ attention to him. “Well, that settles it then. Thank you, Mr. Highway. Now, off you two go and enjoy your last day before term begins and you don’t have the chance to.” his voice is cheery, but dismissive, making it clear that the conversation is over.

Once they’re out in the hallway, Ben huffs out a loud breath, glancing over at Callum who’s walking beside him in silence, eyes to the floor. “I’m not stupid, you know, I’m actually all right at potions.” Ben’s voice is dignified, like the idea of needing a tutor is something far beneath him, far beneath a Slytherin. “I just need to make sure I get the grade I need, that’s it.”

Callum shrugs his shoulders in response, starting to walk a bit slower and glancing back at Ben now that some of the awkwardness has eased. “I don’t think you’re stupid at all. Look, if you don’t want to do it then that’s fine. But I am happy to help. And, not to come off as too self-absorbed but I am pretty okay at the whole tutoring thing so I can help you get a top grade.” 

When they reach the top of the steps, Callum turns so he can face Ben properly, only now noticing the difference in height between them. Ben’s attitude most definitely makes him seem much taller than he is, but Callum realises now that he’s almost a head taller. He doesn’t miss how Ben gives him a quick one over, eyes narrowing slightly as he weighs up his options. Sack off the tutoring and fail or get it over with and please everybody. 

After a few seconds, Ben sticks out his arm between them, hand outstretched as he waits for Callum to shake it before tilting his head up, eyes locking onto Callum’s own. He seems to find whatever it is he’s looking for and turns away, throwing a loud “See ya Tuesday, Highway.” back over his shoulder.

He’s disappearing down a staircase before Callum can even reply.

\---

That evening, Callum’s lounging on a sofa in the Gryffindor common room, long legs sprawled across Whitney’s lap. He’s soaking up the atmosphere, relishing in the loud voices and laughter of his house, the common room alive with the buzz of the new school year about to begin. Some students are moaning about their schedules, others mapping out how they’re going to navigate through the year of hell that is upon them. Callum’s sitting back and enjoying it all, listening to Lola and Whitney talk about study schedules, professors they’re dreading classes with, and the fact that they are most definitely _not_ drinking firewhiskey for the rest of the term (the last one makes Callum laugh, because he remembers them making that same promise last term too.)

They’d stayed out by the lake until the sun had started to set, heating charms not enough to keep the chill at bay for long after that. Eyebrows had raised when Callum returned from his walk with Professor Allard, people curious about why the golden boy of Gryffindor house had been pulled for a talk before classes had even commenced. 

Callum had just dropped back down onto the grass, telling his friends he’d tell them what had happened once people weren’t trying to listen in on the conversation. It wasn’t Callum’s decision to broadcast when someone comes to him for help with their studies, it wouldn’t be fair on his students, plus he’s not the type of person who likes to gossip, much preferring to stay as far away from drama as possible. Once the prying eyes and perked up ears had given up, Callum told Whitney and Lola about his arrangement to tutor both Peter Beale and Ben Mitchell.

Both of them had seemed surprised, more so when he had mentioned Ben. They were all from the same area, someplace in east London, and they knew him well, having grown up in the same wizarding circles as Ben’s family. Callum could only shrug when they asked why Ben needed tutoring, not wanting to say too much. They didn’t ask much more about it, the conversation shifting naturally back to where it had been before. 

Now, the topic of Callum’s tutoring is long forgotten. But he can’t help but think about it himself, feeling a bit apprehensive about how he can fit in four tutoring sessions a week on top of classes and studying. He needs at least five Exceeds Expectations in his exams if he wants any chance at becoming an auror, and he wasn’t confident he could do it before he agreed to tutoring, let alone now. Callum tries to brush off the worry, letting his shoulders loosen as he sinks further back into the couch. That’s a worry for tomorrow, he thinks.

Tuesday evening comes around faster than Callum expected, the first day of classes passing in a blur of parchment, speeches about study and dedication from every professor, words of encouragement sounding more like pressure than anything else. It’s overwhelming, the pressure building steadily already, despite N.E.W.T.s being months away. 

He’d been so stressed that he had to double-check the time when he finally took a break, 7:54pm. Callum almost ends up on the floor as he tries to pull on a pair of shoes and his cloak, books and parchment thrown back onto the bed where he’d been studying. He has 6 minutes to make it from the Gryffindor boy’s dorm to Professor Allard’s classroom on the opposite side of the castle. Being late for his first tutoring session wouldn’t exactly give Ben reason to have much faith in his abilities. 

That’s why Callum’s half-walking, half-jogging down the hallway now to Professor Allard’s classroom, having gotten swept up in an attempt at getting a head-start on studying. He’d been poring over his Defence Against the Dark Arts textbooks since classes ended, the possibility of securing an Exceeds Expectations seeming farther away than ever before. 

It’s 8:00pm, right on the hour, when Callum is bursting through the door, arms full of various potions textbooks, not quite sure of what level Ben is at or which areas he needs to focus more on. What Callum isn’t expecting is to see Ben already sitting at a desk, glasses perched on the bridge of his nose as he focuses on the parchment spread out in front of him. Callum’s a bit stunned that Ben’s here before him, has been here for a while if the work spread out around him is anything to go by. When Ben looks up from the parchment he’s working on, a smirk falls on his lips at Callum’s dishevelled appearance.

“You’re late.” His voice isn’t teasing, but it isn’t serious either, somewhere in the middle, like he’s trying to test the boundaries between them. Callum just smiles and shakes his head, setting his bag down on the chair next to Ben, glad to finally drop the textbooks onto the table, arms aching from the weight of them.

“I’m actually right on time. Don’t get used to it though, I’m usually early and more prepared, I just got caught up with something.”

Ben nods along at his words, beginning to move whatever he was working on to the far side of the table, glasses falling down the bridge of his nose slightly before he pushes them back up. Callum doesn’t realise he’s been looking at him for a beat too long until Ben looks back up at him and his eyebrow is raising as if to say, ‘What are you staring at?’

Callum blinks at him, coughing awkwardly. “Sorry I’ve just never seen you wear glasses before.” They suit him, Callum thinks, the thin black frames make him look kinder, like he wouldn’t hex you for just looking at him wrong across the hallway. Callum’s heard stories about the Slytherin lads, Ben included, and he’s glad he’s never been on the receiving end of one of their hexes.

His words catch Ben off-guard, a small smile teasing at the corners of his mouth. “Don’t wear them unless I’m studying.. so should we start?” He gestures towards all the materials on the table, letting Callum know he’s finished talking about himself, the moment has passed. Callum nods, sitting himself down on the stool next to Ben’s, reaching for a quill and parchment, scrawling _Ben - Week One_ across the top.

“Okay so, I thought we could start out by figuring where you’re struggling the most? If it’s certain types of potions, the ingredients, the methodology behind it all. Is that okay with you?” 

Ben’s face is scrunched up in confusion, eyebrows knitted together, it’d almost make Callum laugh if it wasn’t for the fact that he definitely does not know Ben Mitchell well enough yet to laugh at him and he wants to live long enough to sit his N.E.W.T.s. 

“We’re not gonna brew any actual potions?” he sounds confused, like he doesn’t understand why Callum would want to start off by covering what he’s struggling with, preferring to dive into brewing the most complicated potions and going from there.

Callum shakes his head, “No, I mean I think it’d be better to work out what exactly you’re struggling with first and then we can go from there. Then, next week we can start brewing if you’re ready.”

Ben rolls his eyes at that, it irritates Callum a little, the attitude that Ben’s suddenly got. Maybe it’s just the way he is, Callum’s not been around him enough times to know. “Alright Professor Highway, let’s do it your way then.” 

“Look Ben, if you’re not gonna take this seriously then I’d rather we just forget about it. I have studying of my own to do, you’re not the only one who needs good grades.” Callum’s voice is soft but firm, deciding there and then that he’s not putting up with this for the rest of term. Either Ben takes it seriously, or they don’t bother doing it at all. He’s not willing to sacrifice his own grades for an hour of pissing about twice a week. 

Ben looks surprised at Callum’s words, staring him down for a few moments before nodding stiffly. “Pass us the parchment then, so I can write down what we need to work on.” Callum passes it over, and the rest of the hour passes relatively quickly. 

By the time 9pm comes around, they’ve managed to sketch out a pretty comprehensive plan on what they need to work on, right up until Christmas break. Ben’s more co-operative by the end of the hour too, even offering to bring some books himself next time so Callum doesn’t have to carry so many from Gryffindor tower to the potions classroom in the dungeons. Callum nods and thanks him, a yawn taking over his face as he starts to pack up his things.

“Seventh year knocking you around already?” Ben asks, hoisting his own bag up onto his shoulder. He’s smirking, and it makes Callum laugh quietly, feeling the tiredness spread right through his body.

“Something like that, yeah. See you Thursday, same time?” Callum waits for Ben to nod before he’s saying goodnight, feet dragging as he makes his way back to the boy’s dormitory, almost face-planting the bed once he’s gotten out of his uniform.

It’s going to be a long year.

\---

The first three weeks of term pass in a blur of classes, dinners with Lola and Whitney, multiple tutoring sessions and just about enough sleep. Thankfully, Callum’s starting to find a way to fit everything in without completely exhausting himself. Besides Saturdays and Sundays, which are largely spent poring over homework and study notes in the library until dinnertime when he lets himself relax for the evenings, Wednesdays are the only days that Callum hasn’t got any tutoring sessions.

It’s not that he doesn’t enjoy tutoring, in fact he loves it. Despite both students being pureblood Slytherins, something Callum is very much _not,_ he gets on surprisingly well with both Ben and Peter. They are both extremely different, which isn’t surprising considering how vastly different their upbringing and lives back in Walford were. For the first session or two, Callum was slightly apprehensive, having heard stories about them both, especially Ben. Son of the infamous Phil Mitchell, the man who rules wizarding London with an iron fist. 

Despite everything Callum had heard about Ben and his family, he found him easy to get along with, and Callum would dare-say they were beginning to build a sort-of casual friendship within the four walls of the potions classroom. They’d been getting on much better since that first tutoring session, even managed to have a laugh a few times, Callum shocked to find out just how funny Ben could be. He didn’t think the Slytherin was big on humour, but there were times when he had Callum laughing that big belly-laugh that usually only came out when he was around his friends. Not that they would ever show it to anyone outside the two of them. 

It was a kind of unspoken agreement between them, they met for a tutoring session twice a week, they had a laugh, got some work done, and then they parted ways until the next time. They passed in the hallways with just a nod, sometimes even a smile if Ben was in a particularly good mood. They weren’t friends, but they were friendly, friendlier than Slytherins and Gryffindors usually are.

Classes have just ended for the day when Callum decides to head to the library, wanting a head start on some assignments. He’s got a two foot long essay due for Defence Against the Dark Arts that needs to be started on, a new charm that he just cannot seem to master the methodology behind, not to mention planning out his next week of tutoring sessions. But he won’t complain. In a way, he likes to be kept so busy. It keeps him motivated and helps to keep his mind off other things that he would rather not have time to dwell on.

Callum’s just turning the corner around a corridor when he spots Ben at the other end, running like his life depends on it, throwing back a look over his shoulder at whoever is apparently chasing him. He’s moving so fast that his cloak is billowing behind him, whipping from the speed. It’s nothing new to see a Slytherin running for their life through the halls of the castle, in fact they're usually being chased by another older member of their house that they’ve managed to piss off. Callum’s seen the same scenario enough times that he knows to step further towards the wall as he walks, not wanting to get accidentally hit by a hex that isn’t meant for him. He got hit with a bat-bogey hex back in fourth year and the thoughts of it still makes him shiver. 

Ben spots him when he’s just a few strides away, skidding to a halt in front of Callum. Callum’s about to open his mouth and ask if Ben’s alright when he’s being pushed up against the stone wall of the hallway, Ben gasping out a hurried “Sorry about this, Highway” before there’s a warm mouth on Callum’s, soft lips catching his own, Ben’s hands coming up to cup Callum’s face as he stretches on his tippy-toes to meet his mouth properly. 

Ben is kissing him.

Ben Mitchell is kissing him, Callum Highway.

Ben Mitchell, Slytherin’s resident bad boy who he has never properly talked to aside from their tutoring sessions this term, is kissing him right here in the middle of the castle, where anyone could see them.

Now, Callum’s dazed and confused, thoughts turning to mush in his brain, but he doesn’t stop Ben. He doesn’t push him away and ask him what the hell he thinks he’s doing. No, in fact he does the exact opposite. Callum kisses back with a fervour, hands settling tight and low on Ben’s hips as he pulls him closer, back firmly pressed up against the wall.

Kissing Ben, it lights up something in Callum that he’s never felt before. He feels like he’s been jolted by electricity, his body tingling with the feeling, with the want that’s spreading like fire through him. 

Callum hardly registers the voices around them, the footsteps getting louder and louder until they’re echoing off the walls and fading away just as fast as they came as they round the corner and disappear. Once they’re gone, Ben slowly pulls back from Callum, breath coming out heavy as he lets himself drop back to the floor, hands going to straighten his robes. Callum regretfully moves his hands from Ben’s hips, not sure what to do or say now. Ben looks up at him with a look in his eye that Callum can’t quite make out, that signature smirk playing across his lips. 

The air between them is different than it’s ever been before, fragile almost, like they’ve just dived into something they’d never realised was there before. Callum lets out a shaky breath as he runs his fingers through his hair, desperately trying to come up with something to say.

_What the hell was that?_

_Why did you kiss me to distract them instead of just running?_

_Why do I want you to do it again?_

_I want to kiss you, Ben._

In the end, it’s Ben who steps away and says “See ya tomorrow, Highway” before winking and turning on his heel to go back in the direction he came from, not wanting to chance running into the same people he was running from.

Callum just nods, still not finding any words, instead pressing his fingers to his lips as he watches Ben disappear from his sight. 

He doesn’t go to the library that night.

\---

The sky has long since faded to black and Callum’s still tossing and turning, already dreading having to drag himself from his bed tomorrow morning. He can’t help but think of how he felt when Ben kissed him, even though he knows it was as a distraction to whoever it was that ran by them, it plays on his mind and keeps him from drifting off, replaying the moment over and over until his head is spinning. 

Ben isn’t the first boy Callum’s kissed before, when he was in third year, he had been besotted with a Hufflepuff boy, Chris Kennedy. They sat beside each other in Charms class, Chris always being patient with Callum whenever he struggled with the motions of a new charm, never once complaining that they were falling behind or mocking him like others sometimes did. Chris was sweet and kind, with a smile that could light up even the darkest of days, and Callum liked him more than he had ever liked someone before. When they first kissed, it was short and sweet, both of them nervous and giggly as quiet laughter spilled out into the short distance between them. What they had was innocent, the type of puppy love that you think about when you remember your first love. 

Callum thinks maybe they would have lasted, but Chris had to leave Hogwarts for Durmstrang, the wizarding school in Norway, at the end of the summer of third year when his dad was offered a new job as a professor there, the two of them agreeing that they’d stay in touch even though they were no longer together. They wrote for a while, talking about their lives at school, how much they missed each other, until their lives got overwhelming and the letters got few and far between. The summer after fourth year, they stopped completely. Callum thinks about him sometimes, about what could have been, about who he might be had he not met Chris.

But, as much as he liked Chris, he’s never felt the way he has after being kissed by Ben. 

Is it because he likes Ben? Or, because he hasn’t even thought about a boy, let alone kissed one, since Chris left? How will they act tomorrow during their tutoring session? Will Ben bring it up? Should Callum bring it up if he doesn’t?

Callum’s head spins, too many questions with no answers. 

\---

The following evening, Callum’s nervous as he makes his way towards the dungeons. He’d been exhausted this morning, only falling asleep at around 3am, replaying Ben kissing him an embarrassing amount of times. Lola and Whitney had commented on the bags under his eyes at breakfast, both of them concerned that the pressure of the year was getting to Callum already. Thankfully, they dropped it once Callum assured them that he just had a bad night's sleep, nothing to worry about, he’d be fine once he got a cup of coffee and a good breakfast into him before classes started for the day.

It’s not that he didn’t want to tell them about what happened, they’re his best friends and he tells them pretty much everything, they were the first people he told about Chris all those years ago, hands shaking and eyes glistening with worries that they wouldn’t understand, but he didn’t want to make a big deal out of something that most likely meant nothing to the other lad. For Ben, it was an easy way out of a few hexes being thrown his way. But for Callum, it lit up feelings inside him that he’d almost forgotten existed. 

He’s early to tonight’s tutoring session, about twenty minutes or so, wanting to give himself time to set up and also to prepare himself for seeing Ben. He’s not sure what the Slytherin is going to say, if he’ll say anything at all. 

Callum’s just finished setting up the equipment they need for tonight’s potion when he hears someone clear their throat behind him. He’s surprised to see that it’s not Ben, but Peter Beale, the other seventh year Slytherin he was tutoring for Potions. Had he mixed up the days? Did kissing Ben make him confuse the sessions? No, it can’t be, Callum thinks. Today is most definitely Thursday. He’s not going mad just yet.

Peter smiles at Callum as he sets down the last of the equipment in a neat row, a bright smile on his face that’s almost unnatural for a Slytherin. “Alright?” he asks, leaning against the desk that Callum’s setting up on.

Callum nods, smiling back at him. Peter’s a good lad, cocky and brash at times, but overall Callum’s had no problems with him yet. He keeps to himself mostly, choosing to stay away from the rest of the seventh year Slytherins. Callum’s heard rumours about a rivalry between Peter and Ben, neither of them willing to back down, meaning a truce had to be called early into their fourth year at Hogwarts, both agreeing to stay away once the other did too. But Callum’s not sure how much truth is in it, and he doesn’t care enough to probe or ask questions. 

“Yeah, is there something you needed?” Callum asks, Peter doesn’t usually seek him out between tutor sessions so he’s sure it’s because he has a question or a favour to ask, not because he wants the company of a Gryffindor.

“I lost the parchment with the ingredients for the potion you wanted me to practice for next week, could you write it out for me again?” 

“Yeah mate of course, just give me one second.” Callum’s reaching into his bag for a spare piece of parchment and a quill when he hears tutting coming from the doorway. Ben’s standing there with his arms crossed across his chest, smirk firmly on his lips, and not the good kind. 

“Very disorganised of you, Beale.” Ben’s voice is sneery in a way that Callum hasn’t had Ben use when talking to him. He doesn’t miss how Peter reacts, jaw tense as he refuses to take whatever bait Ben is dangling in front of him. Callum quickly scrawls out the ingredients for Peter, not fancying getting caught up in the middle of them. 

Callum hands Peter the paper with a quick “Here you are, mate. See ya later.” He hopes Peter will just take it and leave because Callum is far too exhausted to play referee right now. Peter thanks him, turning to leave without a word to Ben. 

Once Peter is a few strides from the door, Ben stands in the entrance for a moment, blocking Peter’s exit. Callum can practically feel the thick tension in the air, the way Peter’s hands curl into tight fits at his side, like he’s physically trying to stop himself from being provoked by Ben. The silence stretches on for a while, both Slytherins staring each other down, wondering who will be the first to move. Eventually, Ben steps aside to let Peter pass through, calling after him with a sneery “Seeya mate!”

Callum rolls his eyes, any nerves he had about seeing Ben dissipating as he’s reminded just how irritating he can be, the rivalry between Peter and Ben is childish and quite frankly, Callum thinks neither of them even remember what it started over anymore. 

“Can we get started? Did you bring the ingredients you needed?” He’s hoping they can get started on work straight away, bypassing any awkward small talk, any talk at all outside of Potions and exams. 

When Callum looks up, Ben’s looking at him with a completely different expression than the one he had for Peter. It’s sheepish almost, like Callum’s caught him doing something he shouldn’t have. It’s not a look Callum’s ever seen before. “What have you done?” Callum’s voice is wary, waiting for Ben to tell him that he’s done something stupid like getting caught brewing an illegal potion or blowing up the Prefect’s bathroom.

Ben laughs at that, a proper hearty laugh that almost manages to ease Callum’s worries. Almost. 

“You have so much faith in me, Callum.” 

When Callum doesn’t grace him with a response, Ben moves from where he’s been standing since Peter left and pushes himself up on the wooden desk, legs dangling as he looks up innocently at Callum through his lashes. “What would you say if I told you I needed you to be my fake boyfriend for a few weeks?”

Callum almost chokes on air at that, eyes widening at Ben’s words. Fake boyfriend? Ben Mitchell wants him to be his fake boyfriend? Callum’s sure he must still be asleep, brain coming up with this scenario after what happened in the hallway. He’s contemplating pinching himself on the arm to make sure he’s actually awake and not hallucinating the entire thing when Ben continues, clearly taking Callum’s stunned silence as a no.

“Hear me out. You know my sister, Louise? She’s been banging on about me not having a date to that Winter Ball that’s coming up, and she’s quite irritating, so I just told her I was bringing my boyfriend to shut her up. Trouble is I don’t actually _have_ one.” Ben’s talking so matter of fact that Callum can do nothing but stand and listen as he speaks. 

“Then someone in her year told her about us kissing yesterday, sorry about that by the way..and so anyway long story short, will you be my fake boyfriend?” 

Ben takes a breath once he’s finished, tries to stifle a laugh at the pure and utter confusion playing out on Callum’s face. He smiles at him, hoping it’ll convince him to say _Of course I’ll be your fake boyfriend Ben, no problem_. Instead, Callum just stares down at him, brows furrowed as he bites down on his bottom lip. 

“You want _me_ to be your fake boyfriend? Why not someone else, someone in your house or something?” 

Ben cocks his head to side slightly, teeth pulling on his bottom lip as he shrugs his shoulders. “Makes sense doesn’t it? Someone saw us kissing yesterday, I already know you don’t annoy me...plus we’ve got the whole star-crossed lovers thing going on seeing as you’re a Gryffindor. People will eat it up. C’mon Callum, don’t you want to be the Juliet to my Romeo?” Ben grins at that, eyes bright and full of mischief. 

Callum just laughs, pulling out the stool from under the desk and sitting himself down as he rests his head on his hand, looking up at Ben now, blue eyes twinkling even in the dim lighting of the dungeon. “It’s a stupid idea.” he says, smile tugging at the corner of his lips at just how ridiculous Ben is. 

Ben doesn’t miss how it isn’t an outright no. He twists around on the desk until he’s facing Callum properly, wide smile still firmly in place. 

Ben’s got a nice smile, Callum thinks, all white teeth and crinkled eyes. 

Ben smiles a lot more around Callum these days, the banter from the two of them leaving his heart light and his eyes crinkled at the sides as he laughs at whatever it is Callum says. It didn’t take long for Ben to warm up to Callum, the two of them getting on fairly well by the first few sessions together, no one but Jay sees him like this. He likes to be reserved, to put on the strong, hard Mitchell front that people know so well. Being around Callum, he can let that front fall a bit, show the real him just a tiny bit. It’s nice in a strange way, to feel comfortable with someone to show them this side of him that not many people have been graced with before.

“So that’s a yes then?” 

Callum thinks about it for a few seconds. Over the last few weeks, he’s started to see that Ben isn’t just the Slytherin golden boy that everyone thinks he is. He’s more than that, far more than that, even if he doesn’t let many people see that side of him. But Callum’s seen it, he sees it in the way Ben makes him laugh when they’re supposed to be researching potions, the sarcastic quips that fall from his lips without a second thought, the way his tongue pokes out from between his lips when he’s concentrating hard on getting a potion right. He’s not a bad person, certainly not the person people think he is. He has a lot of good in him, even if he doesn’t like to let it show too much.

And then there’s the kiss yesterday that Callum can’t seem to stop thinking about. His lips tingle with the memory of it, the ghost of Ben’s lips on his, the way his body felt like it came alive.

What has he got to lose? 

“You owe me, _boyfriend_.”

—-

Sitting in the Great Hall the next morning, Callum feels torn about whether or not to tell Whitney and Lola about his arrangement with Ben. Should he just be honest and say he’s just going along with it to help out a mate? Not that Ben’s really a mate. Or should he just casually drop it into conversation like ‘ _Hey Lola could you pass the pumpkin juice? Oh, by the way I’m dating Ben Mitchell now, just thought I should let you know_.’ Neither option is very appealing to Callum, the knot in his stomach getting tighter and tighter at the idea of lying to his two best friends. He hates lying at the best of times, but lying to Whitney and Lola? It’s something he’s never done before, he’s never had the need to. 

In the end, he doesn’t get the choice to decide on either option because Ben’s dropping down onto the bench beside him, expression far too cheery for the time of the morning it is, the sky of the enchanted ceiling above them just starting to brighten. “Morning babe. Alright Lola? Whit?” His voice is bright, no sarcastic undertones to explain to those around him why Ben Mitchell is calling Callum Highway babe or why he’s taking Callum’s teacup from his hands, sipping on the hot liquid for a few seconds before pulling a face. “Merlin, that needs more sugar.” 

If the faces of the entire Gryffindor table are anything to go by, nobody is quite sure what in the world is going on. After a few seconds of stunned silence, in which Callum is just staring at Ben, words not coming to him, it’s Lola who comes out with an incredulous “Did you just call Callum _babe_?” 

Ben turns to face Callum at Lola’s words, eyes shining with a mischievous look that has them sparkling a beautiful blue, “Did you not tell them?” 

All Callum can do is look from Ben, to Lola, to Whit, mouth open slightly as he desperately tries to come up with something that can explain what’s happening, and in a way that is believable with all the listening ears around them, especially the ones straining to hear from the Slytherin table. 

Ben takes the hint, winding his arm around Callum’s back and squeezing at his shoulder in a way that a caring boyfriend does to comfort the person they’re with. “We didn’t want to say anything until we were sure it was going to last, y’know how people can still get sometimes over house rivalries, but I asked Callum to be my boyfriend a few weeks ago and he said yes.” Ben says it so casually, like it’s the most natural thing in the world, no hint of mockery or sarcasm behind it. 

Callum almost laughs at the expressions on Lola and Whitney’s faces, both girls seemingly stuck between _you can’t be serious_ and _why in the name of Merlin did you not tell us this before now, Callum_?! Ben doesn’t seem phased whatsoever by their reactions as he reaches over the table for the pumpkin juice, pouring himself a glass, acting like he hasn’t dropped a massive bombshell in the middle of breakfast on a Friday morning. 

“Callum, is he being serious? He’s not blackmailing you or anything is he?” Whitney tries her hardest to keep her voice non-accusing, the side-eye she’s giving Ben doing all the talking for her. Lola’s not much better, looking Ben up and down like she’s trying to figure out whether she could take him in a duel. 

Callum, finally coming back down to earth, almost laughs at that, Whitney’s not far from the truth. Sure, Ben isn’t blackmailing him, but it still doesn’t make this real. Whitney’s shoulders loosen up once Callum’s shaking his head, guilty smile tugging at his lips. “It’s true. I’m sorry I didn’t tell either of you before now, I just- I couldn’t find the right words.” 

“Uh I’m sure a simple _hey girls sorry I didn’t tell you sooner but I’m in a secret relationship with Ben Mitchell_ would’ve done!” Lola can’t help but laugh softly as she speaks, enjoying the way her words make a strong blush spread across Callum’s cheeks, once he’s happy she can put up with having more of Ben Mitchell around, and she knows Whitney will agree. 

Ben’s sitting back and enjoying the show with a satisfied smirk on his lips, almost zoned out that Whitney’s wand thrust into his face has him caught off guard, startling him. “You hurt him, and we end you. Got it?” Her words are harsh, Lola nodding when Ben glances at her. “We mean it Mitchell.” 

Callum almost falls off his seat at that, thankful that Ben finds it more amusing than anything else, Lola and Whitney satisfied when he promises that he’ll let them hex him senseless if he puts a foot wrong. 

The rest of breakfast is a lot less eventful, the two girls firing questions at them both about how they got together, Ben thankfully answering most with lies so believable that Callum almost has to remind himself that they’re not true, until the conversation shifts back to the dreaded NEWTs and whether or not they could afford a day off this weekend to go to Hogsmeade. 

It’s easy to be with Ben. The Gryffindors are a lot more accepting than what Callum imagines the Slytherins will be, nobody passing any remark about a Mitchell being sat at their table. In fact, it’s actually quite fun. Ben makes them all laugh once the initial best-friend-interrogations have finished, he has Whitney and Lola eating from the palm of his hand before he checks the time, realising he’ll be late for his first class if he doesn’t leave now. 

If Ben giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before he leaves and whispering a cheeky “See ya later, boyfriend” makes his heart flutter in his chest, then that’s Callum’s business. 

—-

Callum doesn’t see Ben again until that evening when he sits himself down across from Callum at a table in the library, smiling at him. 

“What’re you doing here?” Callum whispers, he’s sure he’s never seen Ben in the library this year before now, let alone with a pile of books longer than his arm in tow. 

“Thought we could have a little study date, don’t want people thinking you’re the more intelligent one in this relationship now do we?” 

Callum almost laughs at that, stifling it at the last second when he remembers where they are, stressed out seventh years not hesitating to throw a hex in the direction of anyone who’s being too loud, interrupting their precious study time. “As nice as that idea sounds”’ Callum starts, leaning across the desk towards Ben so he doesn’t have to talk much louder, “I’ve actually got to go. I'm tutoring Peter Beale at eight o’clock.” 

Ben’s eyes roll instinctively at the sound of Peter’s name. Callum’s sure he’s about to go off on a rant about how he’s a much better student than Peter and that Peter could do with _far_ more sessions than Ben will need, Callum’s heard it before and he does not want to sit and have to hear it again, so he gathers all his books together, whispering out a quick goodbye. 

Ben still doesn’t look too impressed, but he calls out a hushed “Later loverboy” after Callum anyway.

Later that evening, once his tutoring session with Peter has wrapped up and he’s thinking about how much he’s looking forward to going back to Gryffindor tower to crawl into his bed, Callum’s surprised when he looks up from where he’s finishing tidying the potions classroom to see Ben standing in the doorway, arms crossed with a small smile on his face as he watches Callum silently.

“You could at least knock.” Callum’s not quite sure where that’s come from, blurting out the first thing that comes into his head to fill the silence. Luckily, Ben just laughs at his words, making his way further into the room until he’s close to Callum, just a few steps apart. He’s still in his school robes, glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose as if he forgot to take them off when he left the library.

“Charming.” Ben deadpans. Callum just shakes his head, tiredness stealing whatever comeback he might’ve been able to come up with.

“Is there a reason you’re here?” He asks instead, hoping it’s not another one of Ben’s fantastic ideas, a fake relationship is about as much as Callum can handle right now. 

“Actually, there is,” Ben starts, fiddling with his hands before shoving them into his pockets, “I thought we could go to Hogsmeade together tomorrow? If you’re up for it?” 

Callum looks at him for a moment, trying to figure out if he’s joking or not. When Ben doesn’t continue, Callum realises he’s being serious. He wants to go to Hogsmeade tomorrow. With Callum. He wants people to see him and Callum together in Hogsmeade so they look like an actual couple, it makes sense really, but it still catches Callum off guard a little. “You mean like a date?” 

Ben nods at that, shrugging his shoulders slightly, “It’s what couples do init?” 

Callum nods, he’s never been on a date before, even if it doesn’t really count seeing as the whole thing is a farce, it could still be fun. The thoughts of it sends excitement through him, stomach fluttering. So, he smiles at Ben and tells him “Yeah I suppose. See you at 11?”

Ben seems happy with his answer, nodding as he bites down on his bottom lip. “See you then.”

Once he leaves and Callum’s alone again, his thoughts become overwhelmed with worries about what he should wear, what will they talk about, whether or not he should offer to buy Ben his lunch when they’re out because that’s what boyfriends do isn’t it? But then again, they’re not really boyfriends. Why does being reminded of that sting a little? 

Oh, Merlin. 

Any hopes Callum had of a decent night's sleep has well and truly disappeared. 

—-

Callum’s awake when the sun rises, a faint orange glow illuminating the dorm just enough that Callum decides to get up, trying not to wake the others in the dormitory as he rummages around in his trunk, searching for something decent to wear on his date, fake date he reminds himself, with Ben. The weather isn’t great this time of year, the November air leaving a deathly chill everywhere you go, so Callum pulls out a few of his warmest jumpers, deciding he’ll try them all on and pick whichever looks best. 

In the end, he decides on a simple woolly maroon jumper, liking the way it compliments the blues of his eyes, but also how it doesn’t look like he spent too long picking it out, which he most definitely did. After spending a few minutes agonising over how to style his hair, Callum decides against putting any gel in his hair today and instead lets it flop down onto his forehead, knowing the wind will have it blowing in every direction no matter how much he tries to keep it neat. 

When quarter to eleven comes around, Callum’s standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom, giving himself a quick once over before he makes his way down to the courtyard to meet Ben. He thinks he looks good, casual but not so casual that it looks like he doesn’t care, but also not too dressed up that it looks like he cares too much. Merlin, when did he turn into a first year witch? He shakes his head at himself in the mirror before turning on his heel and leaving, pulling on his black winter robes as nerves settle low in his stomach.

Ben’s waiting for him when he arrives, wrapped up in an expensive looking maroon robe. It almost makes Callum laugh, the way they’ve unintentionally managed to match their outfits. Thankfully, it’s not awkward at all like Callum had feared it might be, thinking that maybe they’d stand not knowing what to say or do, no words coming out of their mouths. Instead, Ben slips his hand into Callum’s as if they’ve done it a hundred times before, asking Callum what he wants to do for the day as they start the walk to the village. Callum shrugs, telling Ben he isn’t fussy, cheeks burning when he realises people are looking at them, the word about their ‘relationship’ obviously not reaching every student just yet.

“How about we start with Zonko’s and see where we go from there? I’ll even buy you a butterbeer in The Three Broomsticks after if you’re not sick of me by then.” Ben nudges Callum with his elbow to get his attention back on him, not fazed at all by the low whisperings around them. 

“Yeah sounds good, especially the butterbeer part.”

They wander around the little village for a while at first, just chatting about everything and nothing before Ben can’t wait any longer and drags Callum into Zonko’s Joke Shop at the end of the main street. He’s like a child on Christmas morning, struggling to decide exactly what he wants to buy, asking Callum’s opinion on products that he’s never heard of, let alone used before. Callum enjoys seeing Ben like this, when he hasn’t got his Mitchell front up. It’s refreshing, makes Callum like him that bit more than he already does. 

Once Ben’s happy with what he’s bought, they make their way towards The Three Broomsticks, fingers linking again as they walk side by side along the cobblestones. Ben’s practically pressed up against Callum’s arm, chatting his ear off about the potion he’s mastered this week, pride clearly evident in his voice as he speaks. Callum thinks he could listen to Ben talk all day, the way his voice gets animated when he talks about something he’s proud of, how he almost forgets to take a breath sometimes.

Once they reach The Three Broomsticks, Ben pushes the door to the pub wide open, relishing in the warm air that hits his cheeks, a welcome change to blustering wind outside. Callum follows close behind, wanting to get out of the cold as quickly as possible. It’s almost comical the way the entire pub quiets when they enter, all eyes on them, on their joined hands. Callum can feel his cheeks start to flush red the way they had earlier when that group of girls were looking at them before they left, but Ben isn’t fazed, just tugs Callum towards a free table at the back of the pub. 

“Butterbeer is it? Or something stronger?” he asks, pulling off his outer robe and draping it across the back of the chair. When Callum’s brows knit together, Ben laughs, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “Okay, okay. Butterbeer only, got it.”

They stay in the pub for the rest of the afternoon, not willing to face into the chill until it’s time to go back to the castle. Between the butterbeer, the endless heat radiating off the open fire and Ben sitting across from him looking at ease, Callum feels warm from the inside out. He hasn’t enjoyed himself this much in a long time. Ben’s good company, great company even, he’s had Callum smiling since their first drink, the eyes of the others in the pub long forgotten. It’s almost easy to forget that this isn't real. Callum pushes that thought to the back of his mind, right now he’s going to let himself enjoy it, not pick it apart. 

“So,” Ben starts, eyes on his drink as he traces his finger around the rim of the glass “Slytherin have got this pretty important Quidditch match against Ravenclaw next week. You fancy coming along to support your very talented seeker boyfriend?” 

Callum thinks about it for a moment, noticing how Ben’s cheeks are tinged pink, eyes wide as he looks up at Callum. He seems nervous almost, like he’s been waiting to ask all day. It’s what boyfriends do, right? Support each other. Callum nods, admiring the relieved smile that appears on Ben’s lips. 

“Yeah I’d like that, any excuse to get out of studying.” 

He can’t help but laugh as Ben reaches across the table to swat at him, the mood lightening again.

Maybe it’ll be fun. And if not, well maybe he’ll get to see Slytherin lose a Quidditch match and push Gryffindor further towards the Quidditch House Cup. Either way, it’s a win.

\---

They fall into a routine of sorts during the week, people falling for their lie easily and without question. Ben joins Callum with Whitney and Lola at the Gryffindor table for breakfast every morning, stealing sips of Callum’s coffee and making the girls fawn over them when he presses a toast-crumbed kiss to Callum’s rosy cheeks. Then, they walk towards their classes together, promising to meet again in the Hall at dinner. Ben still hasn’t managed to convince Callum to dine with the Slytherins, the latter sure that they wouldn’t be happy to have him eat with them. 

Despite their fake relationship, Ben still has exams that he needs to pass, so they continue with their tutoring sessions. The air between them seems to have shifted, even when it’s just the two of them within the four walls of the potions classroom, especially then. Ben seems more at ease, like he’s letting Callum have a glimpse into the real him. But how can Callum be sure? Maybe Ben’s just so good at pretending that he forgets to turn it off when they’re alone. Or maybe he really is letting Callum see this other side to him. Who knows? Thinking about it for too long makes Callum’s head ache, so he tries to brush it off.

The morning of the Quidditch match rolls around quickly, Ben joining them for breakfast in his green and silver Quidditch robes, body buzzing with the adrenaline of an upcoming match. When he passes off Callum’s offer of tea and toast, Callum insists he has to eat, telling him he’ll need his strength if he wants to catch the snitch. That gets some attention from Lola and Whitney, the two of them cooing over the interaction.

“Alright, I’ll have some toast if it means that much to ya.” Ben sighs, but the smile on his face and the sparkle in his eyes give away that he is loving every second of Callum fussing over him, whether it’s for show or not. Deep down, Ben knows it’s not for show, it’s just the way Callum is. Kind, caring, always thinking about other people. Ben envies him for it sometimes, how easy he makes it seem to be a good person. 

When it’s time for Ben to go and join his teammates for a pre-match talk, he presses a quick peck to Callum’s lips, laughing at Callum’s obvious embarrassment when it results in wolf-whistles from those around them. 

“I’ll see you in the stands?” Ben whispers, voice soft, words for Callum and Callum only. Callum nods, promising Ben that he’ll be there to cheer him on, even if it’s against the Gryffindor code of honour to hope a Slytherin team does well. Ben seems satisfied with his answer, leaving the Great Hall with an air of confidence that he didn’t have when he first came in.

Callum can’t deny that he has been fascinated by Quidditch since he first read Quidditch Through the Ages, determined when he was just a first year student that he was going to be the greatest Quidditch player Hogwarts had ever seen. Sadly, he soon discovered that his broom-riding skills were nothing short of awful, and so he’s been resigned to cheering on the Gryffindor team from the sidelines instead. 

It feels strange to sit in the stands with a green ‘B’ painted onto his cheek courtesy of Lola, looking out for Ben as the two teams wait for the whistle to be blown. Callum’s eyes scan across the sea of blue, green and silver until they land on Ben. He looks determined, eyes set on the golden snitch as it flits around them. Nerves and excitement flood through him as the players mount their brooms, the shrill tones of the whistle cutting through the air as the game begins, the referee calling for a clean game from them.

Both teams move fast, the quaffle being caught by a Ravenclaw chaser almost immediately, passed on to the next player in the blink of an eye. Thankfully, it’s a clear day, just the odd few clouds littering the sky, so the view of the game is incredible. Callum watches the quaffle for a few seconds before he finds himself searching for Ben.

Unlike Callum, Ben was discovered to be an incredible seeker in his first year at Hogwarts and has been on the team ever since. He’s won more games for Slytherin in the last seven years than any other seeker in the school. If Callum didn’t know better, he’d try and suggest Ben should go professional when he finishes school. Teams like the Holyhead Harpies or the Chudley Cannons would kill for a seeker like Ben. He’s light and quick, an excellent flier and, despite the fact that he needs to wear contacts when he’s playing, his winning streak is one to be admired. 

Now, Ben’s soaring much higher than the rest of the players, eyes narrowed as he tries to spot the snitch to end the game as soon as possible, bringing Slytherin one step closer to being crowned victors. Callum can’t help but keep his eyes on him for the majority of the game, gasping every time Ben takes off at high speed after spotting the snitch in the distance, the Ravenclaw seeker trying her best to chase him, but with no luck. 

It’s almost 45 minutes into the match when Ben does it again, racing across the Quidditch pitch in hot pursuit of the tiny, golden ball. He’s so quick that it takes a moment for the Ravenclaw seeker to realise what’s happening, but by the time she does, it’s too late. Ben’s arm is outstretched, leaning forward on the broomstick to push it to go faster until his palm finally closes around the snitch. 

He’s caught the snitch!

Callum is on his feet within seconds, clapping and cheering at the top of his lungs for Ben. A grin stretches across his face, a giddy sort of proud feeling clutching at his heart. When the Slytherins do a victory lap of the pitch, Ben spots Callum, smiling wide as he blows a kiss into the stands. 

\---

Somehow, Callum ends up in the Slytherin common room after the match, Ben insisting that his boyfriend had to come celebrate his win with him. And, like always, Callum can’t find it in him to say no to Ben. 

So here he is, sipping on a glass of Ogden’s Old Firewhiskey, trying his hardest to feel at ease surrounded by the sea of green and silver around him. 

If Callum thought the Gryffindors knew how to celebrate a Quidditch win, they’ve got nothing on the Slytherin team. The common room is thumping with the bass of a wizard band that Callum hasn’t heard of before, people downing shots of firewhiskey with ease, like it isn’t burning the entire way down. Nobody seems to pay attention to the fact that Callum is here, or else they just don’t care, buzzing on the high of winning their third consecutive match in a row, the possibility of winning the Quidditch House Cup looking closer than ever before. 

The smile hasn’t left Ben’s face since his hand closed around the snitch, eyes sparkling as he accepts the congratulations and praise people are showering him with. Despite being the man of the hour, Ben seems content to stay with Callum, lounging on one of the many velvet green couches scattered around the room. 

As time passes by, Callum settles more and more into his surroundings, enjoying the way Ben is relaxing into his side, his hand resting on Callum’s leg, thumb occasionally tracing shapes into the fabric there. It’s only when Callum spots Louise Mitchell looking at them from across the room that he’s reminded of why he’s really here. He isn’t here because he’s a doting boyfriend who wants to celebrate with Ben, he’s here because they have to keep up appearances, to convince people that they’re a real couple. The thought makes Callum’s heart drop a little in his chest, it was too easy to forget for a while. 

He feels Ben shift uncomfortably next to him when Louise sits down on the armchair across from them, an obviously forced smile on her lips as she looks between them. 

“Congratulations on the win, Ben.” she waits for Ben to grit out a quick insincere sounding thank you before continuing, “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your boyfriend?” 

Callum’s not sure what to do when the two of them seem to be stuck in a staring contest, like one is challenging the other, on what Callum isn’t sure. When he can’t take the silence anymore, Callum stretches out his hand to Louise, smiling as she shakes it firmly. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Louise is it?” 

She nods, her focus now on Callum as she gives him a once over, eyes narrowing a little as they land on the green ‘B’ on his cheek. 

“Cute” is all she says then, seemingly satisfied in finding whatever she was looking for. 

When she stands to leave, Ben is still tense next to Callum, fingers tightening around the glass he’s holding, like he’s trying to hold himself back from saying something he’ll regret. Callum hadn’t realised the two siblings didn’t get on, but it’s obvious now in the way their eyes are locked, jaws set firmly in place like they’re waiting for the other to speak first. 

“Don’t forget to write to Dad, tell him all about your winning streak.” Her words appear encouraging, like she’s proud of her brother, but her tone is sneery as she stalks away from them, back into the crowd of partiers. 

Callum’s still trying to figure out what exactly just happened when Ben is pushing himself up from the couch, muttering about needing fresh air before he’s elbowing his way through the crowd in the direction of the door. Callum tries to follow him, but by the time he reaches the hallway outside, Ben is gone.

\---

Callum’s almost given up on finding Ben when he’s climbing the steps up to the Astronomy Tower, sure that Ben won’t be here either. He wonders what it was that Louise said that had Ben wound up enough that he had to get away, claiming a need for fresh air. Was it the mention of Ben’s dad? He hasn’t spoken to Callum about him much, just saying that he had a lot of pressure coming from home to do well in his N.E.W.T.s so he could take over the family business, like his dad had done when he graduated from Hogwarts. 

Callum’s so sure that Ben won’t be up here that he almost misses him, dark figure leaning against the edge of the black railing, Quidditch robes moving gently in the night breeze. Callum takes slow and deliberate steps over to him, loud enough that Ben knows he’s here, but not enough to startle him. 

Callum clears his throat a little when he leans against the metal railing beside him, Ben not turning to look, knowing it’s Callum. They stand in comfortable silence for a few moments, looking out to the night sky, the view of the castle grounds nothing short of breath-taking from where they stand. 

Callum lets himself admire the way the sky is fading from a beautiful burnt orange to almost jet-black, the stars twinkling in the distance now that the sun has well and truly set. He hasn’t done this in a while, just stood and looked at the sky, usually too busy with studying or tutoring to stop and admire. 

In a way, the fading of the sky from orange to black reminds him of Ben. Leave it too late to look and you miss out on the fire that burns hot, the bright and beautiful colours of him. Leave it too late and you’re met with black, dark and distant to protect his heart, the occasional twinkling star revealing his true self. Callum’s glad that he sees Ben the way he does, sees him for all his gorgeous colours in a way that not many people have had the privilege of.

He’s so lost in thought that it almost makes him jump when Ben speaks, voice soft and eyes still cast out to the sky.

“Sorry for leaving you behind back there, I just- I hate it when she brings up our Dad like that. She knows we don’t write and it stings a little to be reminded every time that he doesn’t miss me enough to send a letter every now and then.” 

Ben’s fingers are gripping the railing tight, like he’s not used to revealing so much about himself, being vulnerable in front of another person. Callum’s fingers ache to reach out, to soothe the tense muscles of Ben’s own, to hold his hand and tell him that his father doesn’t deserve him. But he doesn’t want to go too far, to burst whatever fragile bubble they’ve found themselves in right now.

“I’m sorry that your Dad doesn’t bother to write. It sounds to me like he doesn’t deserve you.” 

When Ben looks across at him, eyes wet, Callum takes it that it’s okay to continue.

“You’re a good person Ben, even if you can’t see it yourself sometimes. Yeah, you’re stubborn, and cocky, and find far too much enjoyment in first years being terrified of your shadow.” He gets a laugh from Ben for that, knowing it’s true. “But you’re also funny, and kind, even if you try to hide it, and you’re the best damn Quidditch player this school has ever seen. So, if your Dad can’t see all that then it’s his loss. Because who you are Ben is amazing.”

Ben’s biting down on his bottom lip, eyes stinging with tears that want to fall. He doesn’t look away from Callum’s gaze, instead holding it until he can’t keep the words in any longer.

“You really think all that about me?” Ben asks, voice breaking slightly as his throat constricts with the tears. 

Callum just nods, just a barely there movement of his head, but it’s enough for Ben. He moves until he’s standing in Callum’s space, tilting his head to meet sea blue eyes. His hands find their way to Callum’s face, cupping his jaw as he pushes himself up ever so slightly on his toes so they’re nose to nose, lips to lips.

When Ben kisses Callum, it’s not like the first time. It’s not rushed or desperate, it’s not used as a distraction. No, this time is something different entirely.

Their lips move slow and gentle together, Callum’s hands winding around Ben’s waist, pulling him closer. One of Ben’s hands moves to the nape of Callum’s neck, threading through the short hair there. It’s sweet and innocent, and it feels so very _right_. 

They stay like that, just kissing and holding, until Ben pulls back slowly, a smitten smile taking over his face, one that’s mirrored back to him by Callum. The sky has faded entirely to black, the only light now coming from the stars. It feels poetic in a way, the world around them fading to black while there’s has just burst with colour.

Callum reaches down for Ben’s hand, tentatively threading their fingers together. The air around them feels different, like something has shifted, something has fallen into place. Ben squeezes Callum’s hand in return, pressing a quick kiss to his lips again before he moves to leave the Astronomy Tower, Callum following behind him as Ben tugs at his hand. 

“C’mon. Let me walk you back to Gryffindor Tower before we end up freezing to death.” 

They walk back in silence mostly, sharing shy looks and sweet smiles as they walk hand in hand, fingers linked delicately. It’s different from every other time they’ve done this, there’s nobody around, nobody watching that they need to convince that this is real. It’s just them.

It almost feels too good to be true.

\---

Callum has butterflies in his stomach as he walks to the Great Hall for breakfast the next morning, memories from last night fresh in his mind. The way Ben had opened up to him about his relationship with his father and how Callum had laid his heart out, wanting to show Ben just how amazing he really is, even if his father can’t see it. And then, the kiss. 

Ben kissed him because he wanted to, not because they needed to keep up a pretence or to throw anyone off. He wanted to kiss Callum, and Callum wanted to be kissed by him. If Callum thought that first kiss in the hallway had lit something up in him, it was nothing compared to the feeling that swept through him last night.

He doesn’t realise he’s smiling as he walks until Whitney’s elbowing him into the side, asking why he looks like the cat who’s got the cream. Callum just shrugs, not giving any explanation, blushing fiercely when Lola tells her he’s a ‘ _smitten kitten_ ’. 

“Who’s a smitten kitten?” Callum hears Ben ask from behind them, cheeks reddening almost immediately at the sight of Ben as he catches up to them, quickly falling into step with the three of them. Ben smiles sweetly at Callum as he comes up beside him, knocking their elbows together as a way of silently saying good morning.

“Oh, just Callum, he’s even more smitten than usual this morning. Your Slytherin charm must be finally starting to get to him” Lola’s grinning now, knowing that her comments are contributing to the hot flush across Callum’s cheeks, holding back the urge to coo at how Ben and Callum’s fingers brush against each other, like they’re subconsciously reaching for the other.

“Hm is that right?” Ben asks, voice sugary sweet as he winks up at Callum, laughing as Callum ducks his head to mumble out an embarrassed “Shut up.”

Thankfully, the conversation shifts once they reach the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, both Whitney and Lola more than happy to change the subject to the upcoming ball. They’re stressing over dates and dresses, Callum more than happy to just sit back and listen, throwing in a helpful comment every now and then.

He’s still lost in his own thoughts when he feels Ben elbow him into the side, looking at Callum like he’s waiting for an answer. Callum’s brow knits together slightly, completely having missed whatever Ben was saying.

“Sorry what?” 

Ben just shakes his head softly, a quiet laugh escaping him. “I was just asking if you’ve got your dress robes or if you want to head into Hogsmeade before Saturday to pick out some? Maybe a nice emerald green?”

That makes Callum laugh, and he reassures Ben that he has a very stylish black set of dress robes ready to wear. His housemates were okay with him cheering for his boyfriend’s Quidditch team, but he’s not sure they’d appreciate him showing up to the Ball in Slytherin’s house colours. 

Callum likes all his limbs attached, thank you very much, and he tells Ben as much.

“Suit yourself.”

\---

The week leading up to the Ball is uneventful for Callum as he continues his tutoring sessions with both Peter and Ben, unable to stop himself beaming with pride as Ben moves on to advanced potions and brews them with ease on the first try. The stress of trying to fit everything into his schedule is worth it at the look on Ben’s face as Callum praises him. 

The only difference to a normal week at Hogwarts is the occasional meltdowns of the girls in their year over dresses and dates, Whitney and Lola included. Callum tries his best to calm them, not that he has much advice in the fashion department for them. However, he can understand where they’re coming from, after all he did spend far too long agonising over picking out an outfit for his Hogsmeade date with Ben earlier this term.

Thankfully, by the time the Winter Ball rolls around they seem to have mellowed, more looking forward to having a good time than worrying over everything else. Usually, Callum isn’t one for fancy Balls and everything that comes with them, dancing and trying to act far more aristocratic than you actually are, but this time he’s looking forward to it. It’s their last time to have a night like this, surrounded with people from their year for one of the last times. 

In the whirlwind of dress robes and last minute wardrobe malfunctions, which a quick fix-it charm thankfully solves, Callum’s almost forgotten that his relationship with Ben is almost entirely fake, he says almost entirely because he’s still caught up in his feelings over that kiss. But, even if the kiss did mean something, they aren’t going to the Winter Ball together because they’re boyfriends who want to enjoy the night wrapped up in one another. No, they’re there to put on a show because Ben’s sister Louise will be there, watching them with eagle eyes. 

Once the Ball is over and done with, there’s no reason for Ben and Callum to continue with this fake relationship. They can leave it a few days and call it quits, make up a scenario about ‘just not being right for each other but wanting to be friends’ to stop people asking questions and then not speak outside of their tutoring sessions. A quick, clean and simple break for a relationship that was never real in the first place, so why does the thoughts of it happening fill Callum with dread? 

Callum tries to push the reality of it to the back of his mind, not wanting to ruin the night for himself before it’s even begun. They’ll go together, dance like idiots with their friends and make the most of a rare N.E.W.T.-stress free night. It’ll be good, it’ll be _fun_ , he thinks they deserve it after all the hours of hard work they’ve put in this term.

Once he’s dressed in his fanciest robes with his hair gelled perfectly into place, Callum waits for Whitney and Lola in the common room, nerves beginning to settle low in his stomach in anticipation for the night ahead. They dissipate almost fully once the two girls appear from the girl’s dormitory, both of them looking absolutely stunning in flowy, floor-length gowns. Callum tells them as much, wanting them to know just how lucky their dates truly are. 

Once they’re finished complimenting each other back and forth and holding back tears at the idea that this is one of their final big moments at Hogwarts together, they begin the walk to the Great Hall, arms linked as they descend the staircases, all having agreed to meet their dates there. 

The Hall is decorated spectacularly, the ceiling is enchanted to portray a snowy, winter’s evening, there are pastel blue drapes adorning every wall and artificial snowflakes are charmed to fall gently to the floor. It’s beautiful, and Callum takes a second to admire it, to commit it to his memory of things about Hogwarts that he never wants to forget. 

Whitney and Lola say goodbye to him as they head off to find their dates in the crowd, promising to find Callum later and steal him away from Ben for a dance or two. Callum waves them off with a slightly nervous smile, scanning the Hall for any sign of Ben. When he can’t see him, he decides to head towards the back of the room, sure that Ben has found a quiet space somewhere to enjoy his contraband flask of Ogden’s Firewhiskey while he waits for him.

He’s just spotted Ben’s mop of brown hair standing with Peter Beale and is making his way over until the sound of their conversation stops him in his tracks. It’s heated as usual, Callum can tell from the tight grip Ben has around his glass, knuckles turning white as his grip tightens further in annoyance. 

“Admit it, Mitchell. You’ve turned soft, spending too much time around Highway. Where’s your boyfriend tonight? I’m sure he’s waiting somewhere for you to slow-dance with him, he wouldn’t be happy to know you’re misbehaving.”

Callum’s about to step in and tell Peter exactly where he can shove it when Ben’s voice stops him, his words cutting through Callum as he barks out a harsh laugh.

“You think I care about him? I don’t. He’s my ticket to an Outstanding in my potions N.E.W.T. and that’s where it ends.” Ben’s voice is harsh, spitting out the words in a venomous tone that Callum’s never heard him use before, not even when it comes to Peter.

So, there it is, how Ben really feels about him. Callum means nothing to him, he’s just a means to an end. It tears at his heart, makes hot tears burn in his eyes as he realises how stupid he must look, falling for Ben while he’s been using him this entire time. Everything - the stolen looks, the cheeky smiles, the kiss - it was all a lie. Just a way to keep Callum hanging on. 

Why did Ben have to take it so far by tricking Callum into a fake relationship. Wasn’t the tutoring enough, or was the fake relationship a way to ensure Callum wouldn’t sack off their tutoring sessions when he got too busy with his own studies? Callum can’t make sense of it, mind swimming as he desperately tries to hold his composure, hyper-aware of the crowd around them.

When Ben turns to leave, he finally sees Callum standing there, an awful pained look in his eyes that hits Ben where it hurts, and he knows he’s heard it all. Ben tries to move towards him, ready to explain everything, but Callum takes a step back, shaking his head.

“Don’t bother, Ben, I’ve heard enough. We’re done, not that we were ever real to begin with.” 

If the look in his eyes wasn’t enough, the painful shake in Callum’s voice tells Ben everything he needs to know. He’s ruined what they had before it’s truly even begun. His pride, his need to prove that he isn’t weak, it’s ruined the best thing in his life and hurt Callum in the process.

Callum turns on his heel and disappears into the crowd, leaving Ben behind to pick up the pieces of his broken heart. 

\---

The stars are burning a brilliant bright white against the jet black of the night sky, glowing so beautifully that they almost take Callum’s breath away. He hadn’t planned on coming to the Astronomy Tower tonight, he just started walking from the Great Hall and his feet, or maybe his heart, led him here. 

When the chill becomes almost unbearable, Callum pulls out his wand and casts a strong heating charm, not willing to leave just yet. The silence is more comfortable than unnerving, all the tension slowly easing out of his shoulders, bones becoming less and less heavy with every second that passes. His mind is blissfully blank for the first time in a while, his sole focus on the air filling his lungs and the quiet occasional hoots of the owls in the distance. 

That is until he hears heavy footsteps against the stone steps leading up to the tower, knowing from the scent of sandalwood and parchment alone who it is.

Ben.

Callum doesn’t move from where he’s leaning against the railing, instead letting Ben come to him, feels the extra warmth in the air as Ben comes to a stop beside him, shoulders almost brushing. 

“Is this going to be our thing then? Finding each other in the Astronomy Tower when we don’t want to be found by anyone else?” Ben speaks softly, fingers slowly curling around the railing in an attempt to steady himself, nerves radiating off him. 

Callum huffs out a sharp breath through his nose, not in the mood to pretend anymore. They were fake boyfriends and now they’re not, that’s it. He doesn’t want to play this game anymore. 

“Who said I wanted you to find me?” 

It doesn’t come out harsh, Callum hasn’t got it in him, even after everything that has happened. But either way, it makes Ben chuckle wryly, finally turning to face Callum as he shrugs his shoulders and bites harshly down on his lip. 

“I guess I deserved that one, eh?” 

When Callum doesn’t answer, Ben knows he’s got two options. Tear down the walls that he’s built high around his heart, let Callum in and pray to Merlin that he doesn’t live to regret it. Or walk away now and never look back. 

As much as his head is telling him to run, leave Callum behind and let him move on, his heart won’t let him.

Ben has fallen for Callum, truly and deeply fallen head over heels for the kind, gentle giant that’s standing in front of him. And, he thinks, hopes with every fibre of his being, that Callum has fallen too.

“Okay clearly you’re still mad, and you’ve got every right to be, but I just want to say something and then if you still want nothing to do with me then I’ll leave and I won’t bother you again.” 

Ben waits for Callum to nod before he draws in a deep breath and steadies himself to continue. He meets Callum’s eyes, trying to convey through eye contact alone that he means every word he’s about to say.

“Callum, from the very first time I kissed you, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. You lit up a fire inside me that I can’t put out. No matter how hard I try to quell the flames, every time I look at you I feel it ignite all over again. I haven’t felt this way in a long time, and yeah it’s partly the reason why I got you tangled up in the whole fake dating thing. I thought maybe it would show me that we would never work, that we’re too different” Ben’s breathing is harsh, like he’s trying to get the words out faster than he can get air into his lungs.

“But it did the complete opposite. How I feel for you, it terrifies me. That’s why I said those things when Peter brought you up. I lash out and ruin the things I want the most when caring about them makes me look weak, it’s what I’ve always done, but I don’t want to do that anymore.”

Ben has to stop himself for a moment and blink back the tears that are gathering at his lashes, knowing that he has to say all of this, to put his heart out on the line and at least then he’ll know that he tried his hardest, he didn’t let Callum go without a fight.

Callum can clearly see the effect that this confession is having on Ben, reaching out for his hand and clasping it in his own. 

“Ben-” he starts, but Ben cuts him off, shaking his head.

“Wait just, let me finish before you say anything.”

There’s a beat of silence, stretching on for a few seconds until Ben can finally let the words fall out.

“I want you, Callum, more than you know. I want to hold your hand in the hallway and kiss you without needing a reason, I want to bring you on stupid Hogsmeade dates and bring out that big smile of yours with jokes that I know aren’t actually that funny. You bring out this side of me that I almost forgot existed, I like who I am when I’m with you. You make me a better person and.. I love you, Callum. I’ve fallen in love with you and I want to be with you, properly this time, if you still want me.”

Callum’s eyes are shining with tears, mirroring Ben’s as they meet across the short distance between them. Neither of them wants to be the one who looks away, fearing that the moment will be lost, the tenderness gone. 

When Callum finally speaks, it makes Ben’s heart ache in his chest in the best possible way with everything he feels for the man standing in front of him. 

“Of course I still want you, Ben. I’ve always wanted you.”

A bright smile breaks out over Ben’s face and Callum can’t wait any longer, the need to be close to Ben taking over his entire body. He closes the distance between them in just a few steps, taking in the beautiful smile on Ben’s face before he catches his lips in a kiss, pouring every ounce of love that he has into it. 

Callum never wants to let go, and if the way Ben is clinging onto him is anything to go by, he feels the same way. 

It feels like love.

It feels like coming home.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoyed it even a little bit!  
> please let me know what you thought <33
> 
> tumblr @halfwayinit


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